


What's in a name?

by theFateofYou



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: After attack on Haven, Angst, Dalish, Elvhen Lore, F/M, Mathelina Lavellan (OC), Mournful, My First Fanfic, Name Change, Romance, Skyhold, Spoilers, Sulenina Lavellan (OC)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 06:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14994731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theFateofYou/pseuds/theFateofYou
Summary: A short piece on the importance of names with the elvhen. Based off a theory I heard from Ghil Dirthalen (youtube), that elves change their name to fit the different events in their life; such as Abelas finding a new name.The attack on Haven both devastated the confidence of the inquisition and forced them to find a new home. Sulenina Lavellan took the hit hard, swearing to do better for all the people that she lost at Haven. To her surprise, she was made Inquisitor, and now sits wondering what that truly means. The weight of becoming something more than a scout for her clan, but the leader of a powerful organization. Suddenly, Sulenina sounds like such a childish name.





	What's in a name?

It burned, all of it. Months, near a year of work laboured on the back on volunteers. People who had believed in the cause, now _her_ cause. And it burned. The torches marching down the hillside, like eyes watching from the snowy mountain paths. The crash of stone boulders hurled and the mountain that fell with them. For a moment, that sweet moment victory was there. Then, the dragon. The reddish hue of fire so close that she had felt the burn against her cheek as the trebuchet was destroyed. Their hard victory quickly was stripped away as they ran for the gate, the screams that now haunted her dreams. They had run, and ducked and fought for life. The screams of Serrgit as her weak arms failed to pry open the door trapping him. Adan and Mineave looking to her with frightened eyes before the jars exploded; a single clay shard cutting open her cheek, sure to scar. That one final face off, hoping, praying that the rest would live on for her sacrifice. And his face, that monstrous face as he glared down at her; ripping her arm apart to try and take the Anchor. And all the while, Haven burned. 

Her escape, the trip in the frozen snow, the surety of death and then there it was. Her advisers pulling her from the snow, the smell of leather polish as Cullen carried her back to the camp. She watched it all through amber eyes: the despair, the loss, and the newly arising hope as the Shem sang an unknown song. It was all a blur, the night had felt like years; the loss impossible to fathom, and yet gone within a night. Lavellan wasn't sure if it was a relief or struggle to follow Solas away from the eyes of the now homeless army; big, scared eyes looking to her for help and she had none to give. Yes, much rather to follow the one voice that made sense. Her eyes drifted up his form as he walked, not sure how he could stand the cold in such thing clothes. She flinched as he lit the brazier next to him, even with blue flame the memory of fire was still to close. He didn't say anything, but the proud elf noticed and dimmed it for her. She was a hunter, not a mage and as much as the talent scared her it was just as fascinating to watch. Only pulling her gaze to him as he spoke,

"The orb. It is elvhen." he spoke with such confidence, as if he had known all along. Though, he spoke of most things like this. Assumed himself to be the only authority of Elvhen culture when she herself was just as in love with the past as he was. It was satisfying to finally hold the upper hand, watching his sharp jaw go slack as she spoke. 

"I know. I was close enough to see it, the letters engraved in between grooved lines. It held some power yes?" she loved that. Watching him take the few moments to recover, not expecting her to know the answer he was so ready to explain. 

"Well done."

"The shem will blame us for this, as per usual."

"Unfortunately that is most likely true. But not our biggest concern." Solas continued, telling her of the forgotten castle in the sky's grasp. And she listened, learned what she did not know. It was how they occupied much of their time during the walk to Skyhold, talking and sharing the knowledge they had accumulated of their lost history. A month of travel and knowledge, Lavellen only noticed the time when Josephine commented on her hair. The ginger locks had slowly started to grow back on the shaved side, the top falling over into bangs. It was cut quickly after that. 

The trip, the castle, the declaration of her new title. It all seemed another blur; one just as long as the attack on Haven. Some things did not draw her focus as much as the other. Able to pull a bowstring and fire with perfect accuracy but forget the path back to camp. The title of Inquisitor only fully weighed in days after the proud speech and cheers of the people. Her people. It made the loss of Haven weigh even harder upon her. And the woman collapsed on the balcony floor of her room; a hand pressed against her lips to stop the broken gasps that threatened to break like tears did to her eyes. Too much. It was all too much. A year ago she had been just another hunter, gained the smiles of her fellow Dalish as she brought back food for the clan. Now, decisions that would change the world were hers to decide. It was madness, and mind shattering. The little hunter who danced around trees had disappeared behind the throne and title of Inquisitor. "I couldn't even save Haven. Why would they think I could save them now?"

"Because they need hope. Inquisitor." a voice called from her room. The Dalish hunter's head snapped over to look at him, her eyes narrowing at the intrusion upon her breaking moment. Solas was leaning against the stair banister, watching her with what could only be called pity; or maybe sympathy. He pushed off the banister with grace similar to her own; something he had felt to comment on before. Nothing was said as he helped her stand, holding out a pale hand and she took it in her own. Nothing was said, as they stared out to the frozen mountain range surrounding Skyhold. Nothing was said as she moved closer when the wind blew, leaning her head against his shoulder. He stiffened for a moment, a frightened animal, before relaxing into her touch. The warmth she brought, and the solace she found in him. 

It was hard to say how much time passed before Lavellan finally broke the silence. He was the soothing voice she needed, and maybe he could understand what she felt. Her hands had moved to trace the lines of her tattoos; knowing them by heart even if she couldn't see them. The call of Mythal etched upon her cheeks and brow in a reddish ink.

"Sulenina. That's what my Keeper named me after I gained my vallaslin. I don't even remember what I was called before that. I had been sent to hunt great wolves that threatened our halla. I came back with the pack leader's hide and a wolf pup following my heels. Just as my namesake. Sulan. Apprentice of Mathelin. A wolf-"

"He walked always with a wolf at his side." Solas interrupted, quoting the known epitaph of the dead hunter. Sulenina nodded. There had been such a moment of pride when it was given to her with the vallaslin. She had not flinched once as the ink touched her skin either. A new elf. A new woman. "And the hunter Sulenina was born."

It was mock joy, but she moved with it. Pulling away from her companion's shoulder and climbed up onto the balcony rail. Her legs swinging over empty air, "A wolf at my side, a bow in hand. My clan never went hungry when I hunted. It made sense to send me on the mission to the temple. I was the quietest and quickest. I had to leave my wolf at home, I wonder how he is." she murmured, looking once more over the vast expanse. "But I am not that person anymore. Sulenina was childish, fickle, and quick to anger. Sulenina would kill a shem on sight, and never did anything serious. She followed the sound of the trees and the smell of the wind. She didn't lose friends in a horrible war, she wasn't named the leader of a group she was forced to join. Sulenina was young, and free, and happy. That no longer defines me. I feel old. Aged to my Keeper in a single month. I am shackled to the responsibility to save these people."

"And happiness?" he goaded on, curious to see what path her words would lead to. He knew this feeling. The need to take a new name, the way the world changed us and not the other way around. The woman once called Sulenina scoffed, 

"Happiness? How can I allow that when Haven burned around me and then buried. How many skeletons sit underneath snow because of my mistakes. I have become the leader of a great organization! But I lost myself along the way." she shook her head; a long heavy sigh left her lips. A small speech drawing to a close. "I am no longer a little Dalish girl who loved the woods."

"Then who are you? No longer the apprentice, but the master?" Solas questioned. It grew too stressful, watching her kick and lean forward as the wind threatened to pull her away and he grabbed her hips. The elvhen woman said nothing as he pulled her off the rail and onto solid ground, only looking up to the taller elf. 

"Exactly so. Sulan's master was Mathelin. The first Emerald Knight. The first to wield Evanura, the blade of honour. He led a great army as well. The people looked to him as a symbol of hope. And that is something I must become. Not just a leader, but a hope." Her words were hard, firm, already decided. And they sounded so achingly familiar to the older elf. Words he had once held himself as he hoped to bring about change. Inquisitor Lavellan took one of his hands, kissing the inside of his palm with chapped lips. "Thank you, hahren. For listening." 

With that she left in a storm, looking for Josephine. The woman who would forge letters in her name; a name that had now changed. Not in the habit of knocking, Lavellan walked into the diplomat's office. Josephine jumped as the door pushed open loudly, nearly spilling the ink pot on her desk. "Oh my, Inquisitor Sulenina. Good timing, I'm near done this letter about the events at Haven. I just need to sign it... Is there something you needed Inquisitor?"

"Yes, to stop you from signing the wrong name." 

"Pardon?" 

The Inquisitor clasped her hands behind her back, marching forward to Josephine's desk. The elf could not help but smirk a bit at the woman's slight confusion, winking at her before explaining; reveled in the small blush it brought. "We are a new force, a new face and as such I am of a new name. No longer shall I be a child and apprentice. As such, it would be a shame for you to write all of that and then pen the wrong name."

"And what name should I write?"

"Mathelina, leader of the Inquisition."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading! If you have any critiques or comments, let me know I'd love to hear from you. This is my first fiction piece and I would love to learn where I can approve!
> 
> Have a wonderful day!


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